Yesterday, I went shopping, which to most people is a pleasant experience. For me is more like a form of mental torture. I have never been very wealthy, because of this shopping feels more like loosing than gaining. Even if I have the money for something I desire, I feel as though im wasting money. So when I stumbled upon a really pretty dress, that I REALLY wanted, I took one look at the tag and walked away. Suddenly my desire shifted to shame. As if I was yelling at myself for even considering the fact that I had every right to desire something nice for myself. So I stopped and thought for a moment. I had never tried to figure WHY I fell this way about buying things. In that moment I realized that I had huge self-shaming issues, and that it was one of the most obvious shadow aspect I held. I also realized that this is because of how often I shame myself for simply being myself.
This is not a health process, this happens by being shamed by our parents, and other "adults" that found your behavior "unacceptable". As a result we learn how to do this to ourselves in our adult lives. In a way we learn to parent our inner children. We flip through our desires and shame ourselves for holding desires that we have been taught not to have or that are socially unacceptable. For many of use its often VERY important that we up hold the image that we are what everyone else wants us to be. In order to please our parents, our friends, and our bosses.
Of course it doesn't help that in today's world society wants you to be full of shame and guilt if you do not meet its standards. If you didn't feel this way the entire working population would most likely tell there boss to stick it where the sun don't shine.....We have been taught for so long that we must do and act a certain way even if that doesn't feel right to us on the inside. We live in a world that doesn't value feeling, it values progress. This makes it difficult for those of us that want move in the direction of our inner voice. Some of us can't just tell our boss of, or go on a spontaneous vacation, we have bills and other obligations. It seems like a huge feat to overcome, but it doesn't have to be.
I myself know how hard it is to kick the habit of shaming yourself. I still struggle with it everyday. There isn't a right or wrong way to start, you simply just start. Take notice of it, weather someone shames you or you shame yourself. Buy something that you would normally shame yourself for wanting. Try something someone told you was crazy and irresponsible. If your not sure about what to do, weigh you options. Ask yourself does it benefit me more to do what I desire in this situation, or is it to much of a risk at this current point in time?
It also helps to to realize guilt and shame are not the same vibration. Guilt is a feeling of “regret”, a sense of responsibility from inside with reparation action such as confession or apology. Shame is the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.
In truth, shame is nothing more than your resistance to your own desires. Your refusal to allow yourself to express itself the way it wants to. Im my situation I felt shame for wanting a dress that many would tell me is to expensive for me, or that I had more important things to spend money on. Which in turn made me mad at myself for wanting something that I know I don't need. After thinking extensively about the way I felt in that moment I went ahead and bought the dress. Like I said you have to start somewhere....start doing what you desire and you will realize quickly how silly it is to shame yourself for being who you are.
Have A Beautiful Day!!!
This is not a health process, this happens by being shamed by our parents, and other "adults" that found your behavior "unacceptable". As a result we learn how to do this to ourselves in our adult lives. In a way we learn to parent our inner children. We flip through our desires and shame ourselves for holding desires that we have been taught not to have or that are socially unacceptable. For many of use its often VERY important that we up hold the image that we are what everyone else wants us to be. In order to please our parents, our friends, and our bosses.
Of course it doesn't help that in today's world society wants you to be full of shame and guilt if you do not meet its standards. If you didn't feel this way the entire working population would most likely tell there boss to stick it where the sun don't shine.....We have been taught for so long that we must do and act a certain way even if that doesn't feel right to us on the inside. We live in a world that doesn't value feeling, it values progress. This makes it difficult for those of us that want move in the direction of our inner voice. Some of us can't just tell our boss of, or go on a spontaneous vacation, we have bills and other obligations. It seems like a huge feat to overcome, but it doesn't have to be.
I myself know how hard it is to kick the habit of shaming yourself. I still struggle with it everyday. There isn't a right or wrong way to start, you simply just start. Take notice of it, weather someone shames you or you shame yourself. Buy something that you would normally shame yourself for wanting. Try something someone told you was crazy and irresponsible. If your not sure about what to do, weigh you options. Ask yourself does it benefit me more to do what I desire in this situation, or is it to much of a risk at this current point in time?
It also helps to to realize guilt and shame are not the same vibration. Guilt is a feeling of “regret”, a sense of responsibility from inside with reparation action such as confession or apology. Shame is the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.
In truth, shame is nothing more than your resistance to your own desires. Your refusal to allow yourself to express itself the way it wants to. Im my situation I felt shame for wanting a dress that many would tell me is to expensive for me, or that I had more important things to spend money on. Which in turn made me mad at myself for wanting something that I know I don't need. After thinking extensively about the way I felt in that moment I went ahead and bought the dress. Like I said you have to start somewhere....start doing what you desire and you will realize quickly how silly it is to shame yourself for being who you are.
Have A Beautiful Day!!!